Just show your face, mate
by sirisusblack
Summary: Sirius was never one to watch and let something he wanted to be taken away from him. And he was sure he never wanted anything or anyone more than Remus. RL/SB. Modern Day AU (University).
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimler:** Not mine.

**Author's Note:** This is a finished story, so if you like it don't worry about it remaining ongoing. It just needs to be edited. I'm just changing the settings and names and of course some characteristics. (To be honest there is something I'm changing about the plot and I didn't write this thinking about Sirius and Remus So some characters will be extremelty off canon.) This is slash and in the further chapters, the rating WILL change. And if you read it, please leave a comment! :)

Remus sighed as the professor talked, talked and talked about things he didn't give a single fuck about. He stared at his desk setting up a rhythm of throwing his eraser up and catching it in every five seconds. His mind was obviously at somewhere else as he just sat there like a robot with an annoying rhythm of throwing his eraser. After staying awake until four am and waking up at seven am for his least favourite classes, he was sure a little tight and noticeably irritated. Many of his mates were slightly concerned as they've never seen him without a kind smile on his lips which always made people comfortable around him.

But that day Remus was making people feel anything but comfortable. Everyone was shifting in their seats and clearing their throats to catch his attention but he wasn't having any of it.

"Mr. Lupin?" he heard as a bulky figure of the professor towered over him. He winced at his loud, ear destructing voice. Remus wanted to spat some inappropriate words he liked to describe this man when he's alone with his best friends but he managed to control himself. He straightened up at looked at him. "I'm sorry, I couldn't catch it." he said with a dull expression on his face.

The man's feature seemed to harden after he replied to him. "I don't think anyone here cares about your education but you have no right to annoy other people with your behaviours." he said coldly.

Remus stared at him in confusion, mixed with anger. "Excuse me?" he said louder this time.

Man took a step back, tilted his chin up. "Stop with the eraser Mr. Lupin."

Remus stared at his back evilly as he walked back to his spot with the confidence of a prom queen. He rolled his eyes as he leaned back at his chair and started eyeing the clock. At that moment, he couldn't care less.

Sirius, as always, spent the whole class watching the boy. He ignored everything, and just focused on that beautiful boy who was sitting across the room with an unusual attitude for him. Not that Sirius minded, he thought he was even hotter when he was angry.

Sirius first laid his eyes on Remus after half a year later he first saw him. Sure he thought he was hot but didn't think much about it. It started after a class they took together. Literally.

After a boring, extremely boring Economics class, people were trying to get the hell out of the class quickly. Remus was rubbing his forehand with his hand to ease his headache and walking without looking around. He was able to walk out without falling on his knees and then he easily found his way to the garden where students mostly spent their time during breaks or free classes.

He greeted some people and bumped fists with a few of them as he made his way to his usual spot, right across the football field. He increased his speed when he saw his tree waiting for him with open arms. He sat down before putting down his books so they were all over the place. He cursed to himself angrily and picked them up. He took his Ipod and earphones and started it placing his head back. He started to watch people walk around with smile on their faces while they were talking to their friends or walked in a rush to get somewhere. It was a thing he did to clear his thoughts.

A group of boy who he recognised from his classes were going into the field with a football. A few of them waved at him and Sirius returned their gestures. They were about ten people. They split into two teams in one or two minutes and started to play.

He was glad that he had now something more fun to watch. It was a regular football match between friends but there was actually something more. The boy whose name he couldn't remember caught his attention like the full moon did in the darkest nights. He was playing like a professional and made others seem like a bunch of five year olds as he easily got past them and passed like a maestro. Sirius was amused to see other try to stop him but didn't even come close to it.

But that was not it. It was that he never seemed to brag, he just enjoyed the match just as he was supposed to.

This was the type of person Sirius wanted to become.

James, being annoying as always, smacked his cheek as he sat down next to Sirius. "Who are you stalking?"

Sirius hit him in the ribs with his elbow. "I'm not stalking anyone dumbass. Just watching the game."

"Uhuh. Is this why you didn't realise me making monkey faces five meters away?"

Sirius turned to look at his best friend and rolled his eyes. "Maybe that's because I'm used to your idiocy and don't even notice it anymore."

This time James rolled his eyes, much more dramatically of course. "Cut the crap. I know you better than you. Now tell me who you're stalking?"

He sighed defeated, he wanted to talk about it anyway. "That boy." he muttered with a blush forming on his face. James raised his eyebrows at his friend. "Which one?" he insisted.

"The good one."

James watched the game for a minute and then he got it. "You mean Lupin? Oh man you fucked up." he said throwing his hand up in the air as he always did when he got excited.

Sirius felt like his world lightened as he remembered the boy's, Lupin's, name. Sirius grinned as he patted James' shoulder. James stared at him dumbly. "Didn't you hear what I said?"

Sirius was still grinning like an idiot and he nodded his head. "No, I heard you perfectly." he said rubbing his hands together like a pervert maniac.

James shook him by his shoulders harshly. "I said you were fucked up. He has a girlfriend and I don't even think he has even one gay bone in his body."

Sirius' grin was long gone and his mood dropped noticeably. James felt a little guilty as his friend's shoulders sagged and he bowed his head down. But it was right thing to warn him before he got into him and then get rejected by him.

He patted him on the head and showed his sympathy.

It was nearly two years later after that day, and it was the first time Sirius saw him angry. Yes, he had been upset, tired and bored but never angry. He wondered if he was ever going to get over him. As if something even happened between them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

**Author's Note: **I know Remus is taller than Sirius but let's just pretend he isn't. I hope you like it, and please take time to review! :)

"What is wrong with him today?" Sirius mumbled more to himself than Jese. He still thinking about how tense and angry Remus was. James shrugged, not really giving shit about why Remus wasn't all sunshine today. Everyone had their ups and downs, it was totally natural.

They continued doing their homework in silence but James knew that Sirius wasn't giving all of his attention. James slapped him on his forehead. "Focus mate. He probably couldn't get laid yesterday."

"Thanks." he said sarcastically. "That is really the answer I was looking for. You're the man."

James shrugged again, thankfully Sirius saw it this time. "Why don't you even care? He's your friend." Sirius frowned which made him look like a puppy.

"Yeah, exactly. I'm his friend, not his mother. Everyone can be upset dude. It's life. He will be better and if he's not you can just invite him to play FIFA again." he winked. "He seems to like to be with you a little too much."

Sirius blushed remembering the last time they hang out. They didn't do anything different than what Sirius did with his other friends but it was Remus.

"Yeah to a fucking Playstation Cafe, twice in a week. I'll creep him out and he'll ignore me totally. That's what you want right?"

"You're his friend." he stated. "He won't be creeped out, he will be glad that he's going to spend time with you."

Sirius smiled sadly at his best friend trying to keep him on his feet without hurting his feeling, even after all this time he was still putting up with his shit. Sirius knew it very well that he will never be able to pay his friend back.

There was one thing Sirius never told James. It was creepy, even himself admitted that but it was the closest he could get to Isco so he just continued.

About five months ago Sirius went to a party where he met Tonks, Remus' ex-girlfriend. He knew that she wasn't the nicest person living on the earth so he didn't expect her to act friendly with him. But apparently Tonks found him irresistibly cute, even after he told her he was gay. She stayed with him whole night and she was surprisingly easy to talk to. And well, there was a lot of alcohol and Tonks was one hell of a drinker.

Sirius wasn't drinking, not wanting to tell her that he wanted to fuck her boyfriend. So when Tonks went to bathroom to piss and left her purse with him, he took the chance. He looked through her phone and read some of her messages with Remus which ripped his heart in half as he saw how sweet and caring and funny he was to her.

He already had Remus phone number since they were already friends, and good ones. Remus had all of his social accounts. When he saw kik on her phone, he knew he had to take the chance. He found Remus' username. Guilt was growing in his chest so he put the phone back in her purse. After five minutes Tonks came back walking unbalanced and crashing people on her way. She looked at him pleadingly. "Would you take me home?"

Tonks was long asleep when they got back to her house. He carried her inside her room as she told address before she fell asleep. She never remembered the night they spent together because Isco introduced them later and she didn't recognize him. Even if she did, she was really good at hiding it.

All he wanted was to talk to Remus without him knowing it was Sirius and telling about his feelings. It wasn't going to go further than that.

But it obviously did. Then one day he decided to give it a shot, to talk to Remus that way. He signed up to kik and messaged Remus. At first Remus was cautious but then he warmed up to this weird kid hiding himself. Even after this guy, Edward as Remus liked to call him, confessed that he had a crush on him they continued texting. He was extremely easy going and he was sure he would fall in love with him if he was a girl. But he wasn't gay, so it was impossible but he never told this to Edward because he didn't want to hurt him.

Remus also loved this guy's mystery too much to stop talking to him. He didn't even know if they talk in real life or if he was actually a chick or his brother who's trying to mock him. But whoever this was, he was his soul mate. It was cheesy and stupid but embarrassingly true.

He loved how he didn't bring up his feelings about him all the time. He sometimes flirted with him, or made inappropriate comments about his outfit (nearly all of them including his ass) but Remus actually found these times quite entertaining.

They bonded over time and there were nights he spent hours just texting him. This guy, Edward or whatever his real name was, became a great deal in his life. It sometimes concerned him that it might actually be someone really close to him but at those times he refused to think about it.

What Remus loved most about himself was that he was a patient person. He could wait a person for an hour without losing his mind, he could put up with his mother complaining about his dad not paying alimony or he could hold his orgasm back for a long time.

But today he was everything but patient. He was sitting outside a clinic and he was the only person beside a woman who looked awfully like a hooker in the white room which reminded him of an asylum. Not that he'd been in an asylum but he supposed he would feel the same way.

He was shaking, moving in his seat constantly. Every second he spent staring at the door in front of him took years from his dear life and also ruined his sanity.

He should've known though. It was obvious from the beginning that she was trouble but he was a stubborn bastard who insisted on keeping her skanky ass. Even his little brother told him to be careful. Now all he could do was to wish that it wasn't his child.

Minutes passed painfully slow but in the end, the door opened and the chubby doctor motioned him to come in. He quickly got up and got inside, the sooner the better.

He sat at the seat across of Tonks. He entwined his fingers and refused to look at her. She was the biggest mistake of his life. All those times he spent with her, all those people he missed because she wanted his attention all for herself, all those money she took from him when was the one who needed it most, being cheated on… Yeah, these all hurt but nothing came close to this. She actually hit the bottom with this.

He turned his attention to the woman when she cleared her throat. She smiled at him kindly like she felt sorry for him. Remus felt his stomach clench as the expression on the doctor's face wasn't giving him any hope.

"Mr. Lupin, we did the paternity test you asked for."

Remus felt his heart rate go crazy and he stood up. "And?" he asked. He was ready to hear whatever the result was.

"And you're indeed the father." she said bluntly looking at him right in the eye.

Remus was driving silently, ignoring Tonks completely. His mind was an utter mess. He didn't know how to react, how to feel or what to say. He decided to think about it when he was all alone, when Tonks was far away from him. She would distract him from giving any good decisions as she would try to get all she wanted from him exactly the way she wanted. Not that he would give her that now.

The only thing he knew was that he would never ever leave the child. He knew how it feels to have no father, having no one to turn to when your bicycle is broken, or you need someone to give you advice about girls or no one to stop from beating up the kids who made fun of him about silly things.

He was going to be the father who brings his child to birthday parties, goes to their performances and gives goodnight kisses.

But there was no fucking way that he was going to spend the rest of life with the maniac sitting next to him, motionless. Remus was glad she wasn't trying to make a conversation because he was holding his anger and confusion back really hard.

He turned on the radio without knowing what it was. His palms were sweaty as he hold the steering wheel with all his strength. He felt like killing Tonks slowly, making sure she was in pure pain then setting the world on fire.

Tonks stuck out her hand to change the station and that was it. Isco roared "No!"

Tonks cringed and looked at him wide eyes, like she was trying to figure out how this was even happening. For two years they've been together with Remus had been always nice, sweet and patient with him. He hadn't shouted at her until that moment. She swallowed hard, pressing her back to the door, going as far as she could.

Remus glared at her with hate, anger, disgust in his eyes and he was sending evil daggers to her. "Don't ever think that you're getting your place back in my life. You have no right to do anything. Put that in your stupid head."

Tonks didn't answer. She stared at the road not blinking. She was shocked and distracted when Remus yelled at her again. "Do you understand it?"

Tonks jumped in her seat again but refused to answer him. She could feel Remus boiling but she was too stubborn to give it up to him. And also too damn stupid.

Remus never let his emotions get control over him but now he wasn't giving a single fuck. He smacked the wheel with his fists and the car faltered. Cars around them passed by them honking and they could hear some people cursing them.

"Fuck you." he muttered with venom in his voice. He increased the speed and Tonks started to feel anxious about their safety.

"Slow down." she said with that tone she used when she commanded when they were together. Remus started to laugh like mad man and instead doing what she said he speeded up again. "Fuck you." he repeated but this time it was desperate and tired and Tonka could see that he was calming down as he came back to his senses.

She didn't expect him to welcome her with open arm with the love he offered her before. But she knew that Isco was way too good to demand her to abort the child or refused to take responsibility for the child.

"He will forgive me one day." she thought. But she didn't have a single idea when or how.

After Remus dropped Tonks off to her apartment without a single glance or word, he immediately headed to his favourite bar. He was controlling the car with one hand on the wheel and the other hand was in his hair pulling it hard it made him wince.

"Shit." he muttered to himself and pulled the car to the parking lot and rested his head on the seat. He eyed the bar, trying to decide if he should go in or go to his home to sleep or just rest.

He wanted to be alone for years until he was ready for the thing that were waiting for him. But he also wanted his friends around him to keep him from thinking too much.

He decided something between. He texted Edward.

_"__Mate are you there?"_ he said but felt insecure all of a sudden of his choice of words but it was already too late to change it, so he let it go. He went out of the car and walked straight to the bar and greeted the bartender.

"One shot of tequila." he said even before he sat down.

Bartender raised his eyebrows to his eagerness but didn't comment on it. At least he is usually a reliable man, even if he goes out control today, he could handle him one way or another.

The man put his tequila and lemon in front of him and watched him as he quickly swallowed it down. He put his elbows on the counter facing Remus. "You look like shit." he said honestly.

"Thanks." he muttered but he knew it was true. His hair was a mess, her eyes were puffy because of rubbing and his face was red from anger.

"Chick problem?" he asked casually as he started cleaning the glasses and organizing the bottles.

"Yeah." he confirmed with a nod but didn't say anything else because he wasn't ready to discuss it, let alone a stranger. The man didn't push the questions further than that and just said "You'll be fine. I know from my personal experiences that it feels like life won't ever be fine again but it does. Sooner than you expect."

And it was strange but Remus was glad that the man said that. Because he needed someone objective to comfort him and tell him that it's going to be okay. So he nodded and muttered thanks. The man just accepted his silent gratitude like it was an everyday thing and Isco felt better knowing that not just his life was fucked up.

He sighed, feeling tired and sleepy. He took the money out of his pocket and put it on the counter and tapped his fingers until turned his face and he acknowledged it.

He was watching a stupid movie when his phone buzzed. He smiled when he saw it was Edward.

_"__I'm here now. I hope it's not too late tho."_ it said.

Remus grinned ear to ear and wrote a quick reply. _"Nah, it's fine. I was alone and bored right now anyways."_

_ "__Aww, you replied right away. Was someone waiting for me?" _

Remus could only imagine some guy smirking while sitting on a sofa with his legs apart and he felt himself blush as he found the guy he imagined incredibly sexy.

_"__I was on my phone anyways pls."_

_"__Yeah yeah right. Or you could just accept that you fell in love with me and want my dick up in your ass."_

If it was someone else, he would be freaked out but it was Edward and he was always like this. So he just smirked while blushing more and more with every second passing. _"Come on, do you really think that I would bottom? I mean come ooooooooooooon."_

_"__I don't see why not. I mean I'm way taller than you and obviously a lot manlier."_

Remus felt his stomach twitch in excitement as this was the first thing he said something about his appearance for the first time. He decided not to point it out. _"So what? You're the gay one."_

_"__You're still the one to wear tight pants and let's face it, you have the perfect bum for a bottom."_

Remus was blushing again and this time it spread all over his neck. _"Like you would know."_ he said in a hope of learning things about his sex life.

_"__I've seen plenty of guys' butts love, trust me on this one. But I'm telling the truth here, I'd choose yours anytime."_

Remus stared at the reply and tried desperately to understand why he was feeling possessive about a person he didn't know the face or the name of, or anything other than what he told. He especially didn't want to think about the reason why he wanted to cut off those butts Edward had seen before.

_"__Thanks, I guess. But I still think I would top_." he wrote chuckling.

_"__We'll see when we get there. Deal?"_

_"__Fair enough. What were you doing before now?"_ Wow, he really sounded like Tonks.

_"__Now you're questioning me like a boyfriend?" _

_"__Shut up. I was just trying to build a conversation."_ he said but honestly, he wondered why he didn't reply to him sooner.

_"__Calm your tits, geez. You're so sensitive."_ he wrote but after a second another message came. _"I was with mom."_

And it went on like this. _"I swear."_

_"__Why don't you ever trust me Isco?"_

_"__I don't know how I can even handle this."_

_"__Wait a second. I actually do."_

_"__Your perfect bum."_

Remus found himself grinning like an idiot as they continued their chat.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

**Author's note:** I feel really bad because I really like Tonks but what can one do? Please review guys, it means a lot! :)

Sirius knew something was bugging Remus, even if he didn't say it out loud. He could see it in the way he stared into space for too long, the way his laugh died so quickly or he simply knew it because he didn't even have time for Edward anymore.

It kind of hurt. He knew it wasn't going to continue like this forever but he hoped it would be longest than this. And he couldn't understand where it went wrong. He sometimes wondered if he took teasing too far but Remus didn't seem to mind.

He was acting like a freak. He wanted Remus to text him first like he was his boyfriend (or even a friend for that matter), he wanted Remus to enjoy their chats as much as he did.

Sirius sighed deeply. Edward thing was making it worse. He knew he should quit it because it was freaky, it was making him frustrated and he didn't like to lie to Isco as they were friends now, and he sometimes had to lie about things because he didn't want to be the exact same with Edward.

He finally put on his headphones and ignored the hasty glances he received from people around him. He tried to focus on his assignment on some bacteria only existed in Africa and did a good job of it for twenty minutes before…

Remus hopped on the sofa right next to Sirius and threw his head back. Sirius stared at his throat, his perfect beard (How the hell Remus had this beard when he hardly grow any at all?) and his chest which showed through his v-neck t-shirt.

He felt a twitch in his pants when Remus stretched himself and his stomach showed a little. Sirius wanted to blame not wanking off for too long but it wouldn't make a difference if he did only ten minutes ago.

Remus frowned at his troubled expression when he was done with messing with Sirius' hormones (not really done, but still). "Is everything fine?" he said sincerely concerned.

Sirius felt his lips turning into a small smile. "Yeah, just bored." he said convincingly.

"Good. I thought you were distracted lately."

You're the one talking, Sirius thought but didn't say it out loud. "No, I'm fine. Don't even worry. But you can still murder some of the professors for me."

Remus grinned. "What do I get in return?"

Sirius grinned back and shrugged. "Don't we have the same classes anyway?"

Remus leaned closer to him and whispered. "I'll do it only if you're with me."

Sirius was blushing furiously at their close positions, his hand trembling and knees shaking. Remus frowned when he noticed Sirius' reaction. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Sirius shook his head quickly. "I'm fine. Just got too excited by the idea you know."

Remus raised his eyebrows unconvinced but didn't pursue the topic. "You want to hang out later?"

Sirius smiled and nodded. He didn't even care what they were going to do.

They sat together in the last class and Remus kept putting his head on Sirius' shoulder. He didn't sit still for minute and it was irritating, and Sirius wasn't going to take it. "Stop moving." he hissed slapping Remus' knee.

"I can't." Remus whisper shouted in his face. Sirius rolled his eyes and sent him a silencing look. Remus started to bit his nails but it only kept him busy for a little while as Sirius got annoyed by it too and grabbed his hand and didn't let it go until he was completely still.

"Remus, you're going to stop right now."

Remus wanted to smirk at his friend's annoyed expression. "Or what?" he challenged him just to be a dick.

Sirius closed his eyes and muttered something under his breath and Remus could bet on his life that it was about Isco being fucking annoying.

He didn't know why but he liked to bother Sirius. Maybe it was because he got bothered easily but still put up with him.

Sirius went on ignoring him, so he pouted to catch his attention. Sirius was determinately listening the professor and Remus needed him to pay attention to him.

So he bit him.

"What the fuck?" Sirius shouted at the sudden pain. His face was shocked and he was rubbing his arm. The professor was giving a dirty look to them. "Language, Mr. Black. This is not a place you can curse or act like you own."

Sirius nodded and said a quick sorry and turned to Remus. "What the fuck is wrong with you today?" he said while he slapped the back of Remus' head.

"I need your attention." Isco whined while he sulked his lips.

Sirius rolled his eyes at his child-like behaviours but his eyes softened. "You can have all of my attention once the class is over, okay?"

Remus grinned at his reassurance and nodded eagerly. He didn't missed the weird smile on Sirius' lips though.

"So, you little asshole. Why is my attention so important to you all of a sudden?"

Remus shrugged and didn't answer him. The energy he had twenty minutes ago was long gone and now all those depressing thoughts came back to him. He didn't even realize that Sirius was freaking out right beside him.

Sirius grabbed his arm and turned him. "I didn't mean it Isco. You're not really an asshole."

Remus frowned because he didn't understand what he was referring to but then he remembered that Sirius called him that a few moments ago. He smirked at his friend and bumped their shoulders. "I know it shit face. Would you think I would be offended by it?"

Sirius shrugged, not looking at him in the eye. "I don't know. You were so cheerful one moment, then you were sulking. I can't know what to think all the time." he said with a desperate tone.

Remus sighed. "I'm fucked. Literally."

"Tell me." Sirius said, slightly worried that it might turn out to be a really big problem.

Remus cracked his knuckles nervously. "Promise not to tell it to anyone? Even if you are hella drunk?"

Sirius nodded seriously, not trying to crack a joke or lighten the mood.

"Tonks is pregnant." Remus said with a hand on his eyes like if he didn't look around, it would be less true.

"Shit."

"Yeah, exactly. Shit. What am I supposed to do?"

Sirius didn't know what to say. He would think he'd be jealous, but he only wanted to wrap Remus with a blanket and feed him. "I don't know man. It's not like I know her or I have any experience."

Remus sighed again like he expected him to say something like this and Sirius felt his chest tighten because he didn't like him seeing helpless, vulnerable and confused and that he couldn't do anything to help.

He didn't think of himself, he didn't take it personally like he would usually do. Because this wasn't about him at all, this was about Remus and he knew he would support him until Remus didn't want him to.

"But I can cheer you up!" Sirius nearly yelled.

Remus smiled a little at him. "And how exactly you're going to do that?"

Sirius laughed a little and grabbed his wrists. "Let's go to your house because my mom is crashing at my house right now and I don't think she would want to witness what we are going to do."

Well, it wasn't technically a lie.

They ended up watching Arsenal game after they watched some stupid TV show about teenage girls and Siriys was right. Sirius' mother didn't need to hear all those curses, threats or simply boys being boys.

Sirius was right about another thing too. He really cheered Remus up. Remus was now a mess, laughing his ass off at Sirius' girly shrieks. He didn't even know why he didn't tell Sirius about this sooner, and then he would stop being such a whiny fucker a long time ago.

They were having their third beers when the doorbell rang. Remus got up, slightly dizzy and opened the door with a lazy smile. His smile froze on the spot when he saw Tonks standing in front of her door comfortably like it was perfectly normal.

He didn't say anything and just stared at her. He didn't even have power to hate her at that moment.

"Who's that, Remus?" Sirius called out from the living room. Tonks raised her eyebrows sardonically as she recognized the voice. She got passed by him, making him lose his balance for a moment. He followed her to the living room and bit his lips nervously as Sirius and Tonks eyed each other with unpleasant emotions.

"Ah, Sirius." Tonks said mockingly. Remus didn't know why she talked like she knew him very well but he certainly didn't like the way Sirius tensed when she smiled her dangerous smile like she had evil plans circling in her mind.

"Get out of my house." he said suddenly and stood between Sirius and her.

Tonks rolled her eyes. "Is this how you treat the mother of your child Remus?" she tsked flipping her hair and smiling innocently. Innocent my ass.

"Cut the crap for fucks sake." he laughed humorlessly.

"I need money."

"Then go find a work like everyone else in this world. It's how it works." he said while walking towards Sirius. He sat down next to Sirius, a little too close for Tonks' eyes but she didn't pay attention to it.

"Fuck off. You know I'm already studying and working at the same time Remus. I need money for the child." she insisted. Remus was staring at something on the wall without seeing it and Sirius worried that his eyes might dry if he didn't blink soon.

But then Remus stood up and went into his room. When he came back five minutes later, he had the money he saved to buy himself a new laptop. "Get the fuck out. This is all you're getting for a long time, so make the best out of it."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

When Sirius was younger, he was a cheerful, cute and easy-going kid who girls fancied, boys envied and wanted to be friends with and parents loved to host in their houses, so he could be an example for their own kids. Of course no one could deny being a Black played a part in that.

He usually liked to spend his time with his male friends, like every other kid at his age. They would play football or paintball if their parents let, or sometimes they would eat chips and watch cartoons. When they saw people kissing on TV, they would pretend like they were disgusted but watch it between their fingers. He would gently bully her younger brother Regulus, or trick him into doing something they weren't allowed to do just to feel powerful.

He was like any other boy obviously.

While they were growing up, his friends started to be interested in girls. They showed it very interesting ways and their attempts usually stayed unrequited. They said they fell in love with the blonde girl who looked like some teenage actress or some short haired brunette girl who looked stronger than other girls.

Sirius didn't like anyone. Not a girl, not a boy. He didn't think there was a problem with him. He just didn't think about it. He looked around and saw cute girls and boys, and he didn't question it. Some people were beautiful, some not very much.

But one day, when he told her sister that he thought some boys were more beautiful than girls, his sister kissed his head affectionately and told him to not to worry and he'd figure it out later when he was older. He didn't waste his time to try to understand what she meant.

When he grew up more, he still didn't like a single girl. While watching TV, he paid attention to boys, instead of girls, and sometimes Sirius just didn't pay attention but talked about some boy from his school or football practice like Marta talked about boys, boys she liked and sometimes even dated. But she made no comment on it, not wanting to be blamed if it ever came out that Sirius was gay. His mother never noticed his difference even though it was really obvious to someone who paid attention but they rarely spent time together and they definitely didn't watch TV together. Walburga Black had more important things to do.

His husband was smarter and as he always preferred to work at home, he had time to see his older son's preferences. He talked to his wife. She took it rather hard, and didn't believe it at first. But after watching her child, she accepted it. She didn't know what to do either, and just offered to do nothing until Sirius told anything. No need to make a fuss if he never came out.

Walburga didn't care unless he kept it to himself, she had to look at people's faces. It wasn't like she could expect people to be okay with. Even if they weren't homophobic, they would use this against her family and she wasn't going to let Sirius fuck things up for Regulus too, his precious boy who was very aware of his duties to his family.

When Sirius was thirteen, he told his sister he liked a boy. He wasn't the first boy he had a crush on, but it was the first time he told someone about it. His sister just smiled and told him to tell about this boy who stole his brother's heart and advised him not to tell their parents about him. He just rolled his eyes like it was ridiculous of her to state this as he wouldn't even dream of telling them. He kept on talking about this boy all the time, after making sure the rest of the family was out of their sight before they started their private conversations.

Sirius was always extremely good looking and straight forward. He became good friends with the boy, and after a while, he confessed his feelings. At first he boy didn't believe it and thought it was some kind of joke but then he believed Sirius. He made it clear that no one was going to know about their relationship or whatever they had, and Sirius was okay with it. He was actually pretty glad that the boy wasn't like some romantic girl. The boy was curious by nature about everything and didn't think himself as gay. They kissed here and there and sometimes exchanged hand jobs which lasted three minutes average but the other boy wasn't willing to go further than that. Sirius didn't mind. It isn't like he had other options and the boy's company was enjoyable enough.

One day, when the other boy's older brother was picking up his friend, his brother caught them kissing and it was hell after that.

The boy's family went crazy and accused Sirius of harassing their child and trying to turn him gay and also his brother kept telling that Sirius was forcing his little brother into something sinful.

All the parents of the boys from football practice gathered up and other than few of them, they all wanted Sirius gone and the other boy was some kind of a hero and everyone thought him as another victim of Black family.

Sirius watched these happen keeping his distance. He stayed at home while these were happening. When his mother came home and yelled at him, he just stared. She screamed, screamed and screamed that she was ashamed of him, and he would leave the house immediately after he turned eighteen. Sirius didn't plan to wait until he was eighteen. He started to save money and Marta kept stealing money for him while Regulus chose to ignore him completely.

But then he had to go to school, he couldn't escape the reality forever. When he came back to school, everyone knew about it. Of course they did. It was a scandal and everyone was so pleased to see noble Black family in such position that they acted as if no one had ever happened to come out. Her mother warned him not to embarrass them any further and that she would send him boarding school if he were caught again.

But people were more interested in the fact that he was gay than that they were also accusing him of sexual assault. They were still children and stupid, insensitive and usually didn't know the consequences of their actions. They bullied him, verbally and physically, and got insane when they saw Sirius smirking down at them, not affected even slightly.

There were some girls who pitied him and also some girls who were rather mature. He kept his distance but there was one girl who he genuinely liked, Lily. She was funny, smart and an easy person to talk to. She didn't bring up his sexuality and Sirius was genuinely thankful for it.

Sirius being gay was a big deal not just because he was a Black but also because their school wasn't that big and his sister, Marta was even popular in the other schools around their area too. Marta was only two years older than him, and everyone knew about her also knew about his brother. People usually liked Marta and well, she had some tough guys who would follow her to the hell so they didn't mess up with him too much, they didn't dare. But there were times people hated him like he killed their beloved ones or like he was carrying a fatal disease.

Sirius was a carefree guy, and he was kind of used to the bullying (or at least pretending that it didn't bother him) and after some time, people started to leave him alone and even like him. It was hard not to give in to his charm after all. Not everyone of course, but there were also a couple of people who Sirius counted as his friends. He kept on hanging out with Lily even though he hated dealing with her boy drama.

He fucking loved Lily. If he wasn't gay, he would be on his knees begging her to love him.

He dated some guys when Marta was still in the same school with him and messed around a lot. But he knew enough to keep them secret.

When they started eleventh grade, he learned his way around city at night. He liked clubbing, drinking his ass off and all those dancing. And Lily was always there to save his stupid ass.

His grades were fine as he knew the lines, he knew how to control his life. It was a routine.

He met James at a party when he was seventeen. James knew about him and he was so comfortable that night, and asked how it felt to have a dick up in his ass. When Sirius told him that he was a virgin, James laughed his ass off. Sirius fucking Black was a virgin.

After that night they were inseparable. Sirius left the house after a rather heated fight with her mother and James opened his house to him. He was there when Sirius lost his virginity to some guy he knew for a week (He was also there to snicker every time Sirius flinched as he sat down). He was there when he had his heart broken for the first time and when he applied for universities and when he had his first tattoo and when he cried because Lily was going to USA for university suddenly for unknown reasons.

They went to same university because they had to. James was studying medicine, James law. They spent their summer before university together, away from their families. Not that Sirius would ever go back to them. They didn't think about anything and just had fun.

When they came back to London after a month, Sirius learned that his uncle Alphard was dead and he left everything for him, including a little apartment in the centre of the city. He called his sister to inform her if she hadn't known already. He was so pleased with the situation that he declared he always loved Alphard deeply who he had seen only twice in his life.

He found himself a half time job for a month before the university started and he saved more money. When university started, he gave lessons and started to earn money by it. Even though he had some money Alphard left for him, it wouldn't last too long.

It was how he met Remus anyway. Remus saw people taking lessons from him and asked if it was okay if he took some lessons too. Sirius was willing to give Remus much more than science lessons, so he enthusiastically agreed. They started to talk after that and crashed at each other's places from time to time. By then, they became close friends and Sirius remembered all those times he became good friends with a boy and they ended up doing something other than just hanging out.

Sirius was really good at bringing out homosexuality of straight(!) guys. He just hoped it wouldn't end up like the previous ones.

Remus called Sirius. He didn't know when he started to like this boy's company more than his other friends' combined, but he knew that it was also that Sirius knew about his problem.

"Hmmp?" Sirius groaned to the phone.

"It's eleven. Get your lazy ass off the bed and come to my house." Remus said.

"Already missing me?" Sirius mumbled, voice still thick with sleep. Remus wondered why he was getting these kinds of comments from two people, two guys these days.

"I'm dying. I don't think I'll survive another hour Sirius." Remus purred like a kitten. He heard Sirius laugh quietly. "I may consider it now."

"Come to my house." Remus offered again.

Sirius hummed. "Wouldn't want you to die, would we?"

Sirius knew he shouldn't go to see Remus, especially after his little exchange with Tonks. He still didn't want to believe that she remembered him very well and she was shamelessly sitting at the arm of the sofa.

She had that disturbing look in her eyes, a look which made people feel like they were in deep shit. "Hitting on my boyfriend Sirius?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows, like he had no idea what she was talking about even though his heart was beating fast and he felt like throwing up anytime. "Your boyfriend?" he asked wryly, hoping this would make her back off.

It didn't. She smiled, but it was a normal smile, which you offer to cashiers or people who let you pass in the street. "You are right. Ex-boyfriend suits it better."

Sirius turned his back to her. "Indeed."

She stood up and Sirius felt like a little kid who was about to be scolded. "You were nice Sirius. You are nice. But nice isn't enough for him you know. And you also have a little problem called penis."

Her expression was soft, voice soothing.

He wanted to say "It's not that small." or "It isn't a problem, love." but they all seemed childish and stupid and Tonks was there with all her pink-haired glory, with a confidence that blew his mind and messed up with his own confidence.

"I'm not hitting on him Tonks. Chill out." he said coolly instead. If it was someone else, they would believe his lie but it was Tonks and she continued her amused smile that made Sirius feel like shit.

He tried to watch TV but he was all aware of Tonks. When she leaned into him and whispered into his ear, he shivered. "I need a father for my baby Sirius, and I'm not letting you take that from me. Don't take it personal. I know you are a cool, nice person but don't dare to mess with me."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

**Author's Note:** A review would make my day! :)

Sirius was stupid. He was a boy, controlled by his hormones and who was not able to make the right decisions. He knew Tonks wasn't bluffing, and she had point but he couldn't bring himself to stop seeing Remus. Especially when he always seemed to have so much fun with him, looked happy and definitely not depressed.

Remus was desperate. He was a boy, who didn't know how to cope with problems properly because someone always took care for him. He didn't know if he should call her mother and ask for advice or if he should spend time with Victoria for the baby.

He was trying to save some money, because even when he was so mad at Remus, he knew she couldn't work in a second job. And the money he was making from his job wouldn't be enough for him.

He knew there was a way. He knew Sirius had his own apartment, and he knew he would welcome him with open arms but Sirius had already given him too much. He helped with his classes, he kept him company all the time and made him laugh for hours.

But he had to save money, and he was going to pay the half of the rent anyways. That was enough to show Sirius that he wasn't trying to use him, right?

"Sirius!" Lily screamed excitedly as soon as she picked up the call. Sirius groaned and pulled the phone away from his ear.

"Calm down woman, for fucks sake. It's like you hadn't heard from me for years."

"It's been three days and since you're too busy licking your future boyfriend's ass, I think we should stop arguing and you let me talk."

Sirius gasped like he couldn't believe his ears. "You've been talking nonsense for about hours now!" he giggled like a man he was.

He could basically hear Lily rolling her eyes slowly and dramatically. "You're so gay Sirius. Don't laugh like that ever again please." she huffed but continued before Sirius could speak. "Whatever, so listen this. I'm coming back for two weeks!" she exclaimed again.

Sirius cursed quietly as he put Lily on speaker so his eyes wouldn't go deaf before this call ended. "When?" he asked, walking around in this room and picking dirty socks on the floor.

"Don't sound so excited Sirius." she scolded him.

Sirius sighed. "What do you want me to do? Scream like you do?" he said like he was bored but actually he was grinning from ear to ear.

"Whatever. I'm coming this Saturday and you're picking me up."

"Whatever." he mimicked her but his grin was bigger now. "Text me details and I'll be your bitch."

They continued talking about their life and Lily was a little too enthusiastic to hear about Remus. She always wanted to know things that Sirius didn't even pay attention to. "I can't believe you Sirius. How can you not notice it?" or "What do you mean you didn't ask about it?" was the most common things she said during their talk.

Finally the doorbell rang and Sirius stood up grudgingly to open the door as he held his phone between his ear and shoulder. He grinned when he saw Remus standing there. He motioned him to come in and he informed Lily about who it was.

"Shit, shit, shit. Sirius calm down. You can do this. All you need to do is to show your dick without making it obvious and he's all yours." Sirius blushed and craned his neck to see if Remus heard Lily but he was already in the living room.

"What are you talking about? Do you even get impressed when you see someone's dick out of nowhere?" he whispered so Remus wouldn't hear their weird conversation.

"No, but don't you gays crave for dick?" she whispered to like she needed to be quiet too. Sirius rolled his eyes at her foolishness.

"Not all the time. And there is always a possibility and a very strong possibility for your information, that he isn't interested in those kinds of people you know?"

There was a pause. "You mean those kinds of people with penises?"

"You're leaving me in awe with your ability to understand me correctly today."

Sirius decided he couldn't leave Remus alone anymore, so he entered the living room. He smiled apologetically at him who just shrugged to show that it was okay.

"But he is still there right?" she asked.

"Obviously." he said.

"So shut the phone you idiot. It's a surprise that he hadn't left yet."

"Okay okay. See you later. Don't forget to text me."

"I won't. I love you Siri-bot." she chirped again and Sirius wrinkled his face at her acute voice. "Yeah, yeah. Love you too." he said quickly and ended the call quickly before it got more embarrassing, if it was possible.

Remus was watching him amusedly, his eyebrows raised. There was a weird glimmer in his eyes, which looked a lot like curiosity but not exactly. "Girlfriend?"

Remus didn't think it through, so he answered "Yeah."

"Oh." Remus said confusion written all over his face. "You never mentioned a girlfriend." Sirius snickered when he realised Remus was mentioning another thing. He cleared his throat to answer. "It's because she's a girl friend of mine, we don't date or whatever. She's actually my best friend." he explained awkwardly even though there was nothing to be awkward about. He wished it wasn't so obvious to Remus that he was being vague whenever they talked about girls or anything included genitals.

"Good." Remus nodded like he answered the question correctly. Sirius smirked and said "Good?"

Remus stared at him with mouth wide open, like what he said was inexcusable. "I didn't mean it like that. Of course I want you to have a girlfriend, why wouldn't I want it?" he rambled.

Sirius shook his head and made himself comfortable on the sofa by stretching his legs wide open. "I don't want a girlfriend anyways." he confessed, and well, this was the closest thing he said to coming out to Remus.

Remus laughed loudly, his eyes shining between his thick eyelashes and Sirius had to remind himself not to stare too long. "Count me in."

"Yeah, you don't stick your penis into a vagina for a long time, dude." he said, hoping it sounded like a joke but let's face it, he was damn serious about it.

Remus chuckled. "Penis stays in my pants for three years."

Sirius looked at him with an expression that showed his disbelief in Remus' words, "Three years? You wouldn't last three weeks."

"I haven't got laid for a month now. You underestimate me." Remus grinned, and Sirius wanted to shove him to the ground and kiss his face until his lips bleed because of his beard.

"That's exactly why I'm telling you that it won't go like that for so long. How does your hand feel by the way?" he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Eww, come on, how old are we?" he said but his expression showed otherwise. His eyebrows were knitted together and he was pouting. Sirius hardly could think anything but capturing Remus' plump lower lip between this teeth.

But then Remus sighed really loud, which made Sirius laugh loudly, his head arched back. Remus tried to stare harshly at his friend but it was kind of impossible when he laughed like Remus masturbating too much was the most hilarious thing he ever heard.

"Shut up." he growled, throwing the pillow at Sirius who was still laughing softly, eyes teary because of laughing too much, and cheeks flushed.

Sirius stopped laughing and he was just smiling now, he had that close mouthed smile, so genuine and real that Remus wanted to hug him forever because he was just so nice to him and he was sure he would feel really nice in his arms too.

Remus sighed again, shaking his thoughts. "Sirius, I need a favor." he said not able to look him in the eye. He could imagine Sirius frowning with worry, eyes squinted.

"Ask away." Sirius said calmly, like it was normal for friends to take too much from each other.

"Could we, you know, share your apartment? Because I really really need to save money for the baby and my apartment's rent is high and I can't save anything if I keep paying for it. I mean, of course I'll pay…"

"Stop Remus." Sirius broke his monologue. "Of course you can. I mean it's a small apartment but you need it and what kind of friend I would become if I said no?" he said still smiling like a saint.

Remus breathed out. "You don't how much that means for me." he said.

Sirius shrugged and stood up, not looking at him. Remus was still lost, so grateful he had someone like Sirius in his life that he didn't listen Sirius talking about arrangements.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

Remus was nervous because he didn't know when to bring up the moving in subject. He had had to gather all his courage in his body to ask that question back then in Sirius' house (their house in a way) but now, he didn't know anything about what he should do next.

He decided to ask Edward because he always knew what to do. He couldn't believe that he was going to text him asking for how to talk with Sirius. Sure, there were a lot of times Edward told him what to do but this one is different.

_"__Edward?"_ he texted, resting against the white walls of the university.

_"__Don't call me Edward. I always think of Twilight."_ The answer was so quick that Isco wondered if he lived his telephone glued to his hand.

Remus giggled. _"How do you even know I don't actually refer Twilight Edward?"_

_"__No bitch, I'm Emmett. At least he is hot. You're Edward."_

_"__If you're not Edward, you're definitely Bella."_ Remus wrote quickly.

_"__Eww no, she has a vagina. Absolutely no."_ Remus wasn't surprised to get a reply like this at all, Edward's dislike for vaginas was permanent.

_"__You're so gay dude. You blow my mind."_

_"__Because I ain't blowing your dick, and you're settling with your mind?"_

_"__Ugh, this is not why I texted you. We can do this later."_

_"__You need my advice again? Shoot."_

_"__Are you going to make fun of me acting like six year olds again?"_

_"__Probably princess." _Remus sighed because whenever he complained, Edward always called him girly names.

_"__Whatever. I'm moving out and I'll live with a friend of mine but I don't know if I should ask about the time because I don't want to bore him, ya feel me?"_

_"__No. If he agreed to have you in your apartment why are you hesitating to ask him when?"_

_"__It's not that simple."_

_"__Yes it is. Don't text me until you handle this."_

Remus stared at the screen, knowing that Edward -or Emmett, whatever- was fucking right again. He sighed deeply and started spinning his phone in his hand.

He looked around and saw Sirius looking at his phone smiling, with his lips slightly open. He looked like he heard from someone he loved, and a special love to be exact. James came right behind him at that moment, and tried to look at Sirius' phone over his shoulder but Sirius was taller than him and Sirius laughed at his best friend loudly, audible to everyone in the hall. James was giving a dirty look to Sirius, who didn't seem to care about his friend's annoyance.

Finally Sirius stopped and threw his arm over James' shoulders who shifted uncomfortably under Sirius' arm but he didn't let him go.

But then Sirius was talking rapidly, and James listened to him carefully and he was clearly surprised.

James said something and Sirius shrugged, it was a I-don't-know-anything-about-that shrug. Remus wondered if it was about him moving in, but then he scolded himself for being naïve enough to think that they could talk this seriously about him.

Sirius looked up and their eyes met. Remus felt a blush forming on his face because he was caught staring but when he saw Sirius smile, he loosened up. He was leading James towards him, and Remus gulped hardly.

But then, Remus was also confused about Sirius' extreme cheer. His grin was as big as his face and James was only snorting. Sirius chirped, "We're having a sleepover!"

Remus frowned, "With who?"

"Me, Lilypad, Jamie and of course my new housemate!" Sirius exclaimed. Remus winced, and noticed James did too. James was rolling his eyes and muttering under his breath, which sounded like James complaining about Lily and Sirius being in the same room.

"Who's Lily?" Remus asked smiling at Sirius' excitement because it was a rare scene to see.

"My best friend." he said still grinning from ear to ear.

James grunted. "I'm your best friend idiot." he said hurt, but Sirius ignored him. "The one I was talking to when you came to my house."

Remus' mouth formed an O. "I see. Okay, it sounds cool."

Sirius nodded feverishly. "It's going to be amazing. Bring your pyjamas and toothbrush and all the booze you have." he talked excitedly and of course, very loudly.

Remus grinned, because hell, who would've thought that Sirius would get this excited over a sleepover, or whatever he liked to call it. He laughed and patted Sirius on his arm. "I will. When is it?"

"Lilypad is coming here on Saturday morning, I'll pick her up from the airport and we'll have to do some things together but then we will be home at about six."

Remus felt something became dead at the way Sirius talked about Lily, how he smiled at the mention of her name. It wasn't jealousy, it definitely wasn't. No, it was just Remus was sure Tonks had never smiled like that when they were together. Before he knew what happened, Remus blurted out something, something he would regret it until the end of time, at least it felt like that at that moment.

"You're in love with her."

Sirius faltered for a moment and his smile slipped off his face. His eyes lost their brightness. He frowned and looked at him like he lost his mind. "No." he denied firmly but there was no sign of hard feelings in his eyes, so Remus felt a little better but he was still blushing like a tomato because he had no idea why he said it, or thought about it or why he even existed.

Remus shook his head, bowing it down. "Sorry, it was inappropriate." he mumbled.

To his surprise, James barked a laugh. "Dude if you think this is inappropriate with Sirius, you're going to have a heart attack when you start to live with him." Then he snickered evilly. "And to be honest, it'll look like they're flirting at first, but believe me, they're not."

Remus smiled at Sirius, who wasn't listening their conversation because he was too grinning at his phone like an idiot. Remus' face was still red but the embarrassment was easing. "Then I'll have to shock him too."

James was looking at him weirdly behind his glasses, and Sirius was still in clouds, probably thinking about Saturday night.

There was an awkward pause between Remus and James, and Remus didn't know why James was staring at him like he had a disease but he had to avert his eyes. He put his hand on Sirius' arm to catch his attention. Sirius smiled and nodded him to go on seeing Remus had something to say.

"When should I move in?" he asked trying hard not to turn his eyes from Sirius' warm ones, because he was feeling like he was flirting and he was afraid to make Sirius uncomfortable.

"Whenever you want. Just remind me to give you the spare keys and you can bring your stuff in."

Remus felt a weight lifting from his chest because Sirius was still cheerful and he didn't hesitate to reply. "Then I'll be at your house before Monday because I don't want to pay another month for nothing, you know."

Sirius nodded again, and Remus tightened his grip on Sirius' arm to show his gratitude.

Remus ordered a cup of coffee, trying to warm his hands. Even though it was nearly April, it was still cold as it was winter. He took his phone out and texted Edward.

_"__I talked to him :)"_

_"__Did he kick you out or just told you when?"_

_"__Kicked me out. Lol jk. He said I can move in anytime."_

_"__Who is this guy? Do I need to be jealous Remy? Tsk tsk."_ it said. Remus frowned at that, because honestly, he didn't want to say he wasn't gay or he didn't need to be jealous saying Sirius was just a friend but it wasn't just about Sirius, it was also about Edward too. He felt like he was choosing somehow but it was ridiculous.

And his thoughts sounded so gay, and also it sounded like he liked both guys.

_"__Yeah, be jealous. Go crazy. Carve your eyes out. Cry."_

_"__Nah, I'm good like that. I don't think you like him anyways."_

_"__Maybe I do, who knows?"_ he said but his stomach burned, his ears reddened.

_"__Are you trying to make me jealous or what? Cause bae, it's not working. Who is it anyway?"_

_"__Sirius. Do you know him?"_

_"__There are many serious people in this world darling."_

_"__Fuck you. Black."_

_"__Aww yeah, I know him, he's cute. And he took off his shirt last Monday and stayed like that during the whole match, it wasn't even hot but who cares… I'd fuck him senseless." _

_"__I know, I was there and we talked about it remember? And to be honest, it was kind of hot."_

_"__Why do you still remember that he was shirtless? Did I turn you gay too? :O "_

_"__Yeah yeah, I'm gay because I remember that my teammate was shirtless. Are you hitting on him too tho?"_ he asked, but he wasn't sure if he could stay sane if he did hit on Sirius too.

Remus rolled his eyes at Edward's reply because it's stupid, like always. _"No sweet-ass-cheeks. Only you."_

_"__He's really hot tho."_ Remus wrote, after a moment of hesitation.

_"__Isn't it nice that we have same taste in men?"_

Remus laughed because it was funny, and to be honest he was starting to question his sexuality. Because nothing would explain his thoughts other than him being a little (maybe a lot) gay.

But he wasn't ready to discuss this with anyone else. _"Oh shut up. You know it's not like that."_

_"__Relax. I'm not hinting anything or whatsoever."_ This time Remus felt guilty because his answer was harsh and rude, and he might have offended Edward.

There is a first time for everything.

He winced when Tonks sat across him, looking for something in her bag. She hadn't said anything yet, and Remus wasn't really eager to talk to her so he waited until she did all those things she had to do.

At last she put her sunglasses in her bag and raised her head to look at Remus. "I'm going to doctor next week. When are you free?"

"I work 3 pm to 5 pm weekdays. 8 am to 12 on weekends." he explained, eyes on the grey metal table.

Tonks nodded professionally and took out her notebook, noting Remus' schedule down. Remus was confused about her behaviours, because she wasn't trying to bitch, or consume him. She mumbled something Remus couldn't understand.

"I work from 9 am to 1 pm everyday, and the only day we can go is Saturday." She took out her phone and dialed a number written on the notebook.

"Good afternoon. I wanted to make appointment with Dr. Cruz on Saturday afternoon next week."

She was listening intently, nodding occasionally. "I'm sorry but we can't be there at that time. Can we have it a little later, like two hours or so?"

She had a sour expression, ear pressed to the phone. Her expression softened after a minute and she was smiling kindly, thanking the person on the other end. She ended the call and scribbled down another thing, probably the time.

Remus cleared his throat. Tonks jumped in her seat with surprise and she looked at Remus like she wasn't aware of his presence. Her eyes were wide under her glasses, lips parted and dry.

Remus didn't want to feel pity for her, so he ignored Tonks' exhausted expression. "When is it?"

"At four o'clock on Saturday."

He nodded, then spoke quietly, "Okay then."

Tonks didn't look tired or lost anymore. "We need to save money."

Remus rolled his eyes, entwining his arms on his stomach. "I'm aware of that. But I gave all the money I have to you."

Tonks leaned in, eyes burning with fire, she was clearly angry at him for a reason. "I'm not going to spa with that money shithead. We're paying doctor with that and medicine. I'm buying necessary things for our baby. Do you even realize I work at least ten hours more than you do, and that I'm having night classes to make it work? Stop this attitude. And fucking help me, I don't have time for your bitchiness, or your emotions."

Remus felt a rush of anger hit him and he was seeing red. "Do you think I'm having the best time in my life? You came to me; a month later we broke up, saying you are pregnant. And don't even deny it, I know you stopped taking your birth control pills. So for fucks sake, stop acting like I'm being an irresponsible, cruel person or talking about my emotions or whatever. Because you fucked up, and dragged me with you."

People were listening them discreetly and Remus wanted to knock the table down and tell them to mind their own business.

Tonks had her face in her hands in embarrassment, but not in herself of course. After a minute, she ended the silence. "What's done is done. I can't change it. Now it's time for you to put you hatred for me aside and help me with arrangements."

Remus sighed, "I'm already moving out."

Tonks nodded but said nothing. They stayed silent for a while but then Remus couldn't bear with it anymore. "Do you have anything else to say? If you don't I'm leaving."

Tonks sighed, not looking at Remus. "I've moved. To my parents' house." she mumbled and he raised his eyebrows at that because he never would have thought she would step on her pride like that.

"So they took you back?"

"Obviously. But I'm not going to ask money or anything like that."

"No one asked you to." he said, then asked, "How did this happen?"

She shrugged, "I called my mom and she told me to come back."

"Your dad?"

"He's ignoring me, he still hasn't talked to me other than saying that they were not going to give me money just because I fucked up." she laughed humourlessly.

Remus understood Tonks' father well. They looked at each other for a second, and then Remus stood up. He put the money for his coffee's money on the table.

He mumbled, "I'll see you on Saturday then." Tonks nodded, not looking up to him. They stood there, closed his eyes in defeated.

"Take care of my child." he added.

Tonks nodded again, so Remus turned his back to walk away. Tonks' question stopped him. "Who are you moving in with?" she asked, forehead wrinkled with worry.

"Sirius." he said casually.

Tonks chuckled darkly. "Why am I not surprised at all?"

"What was that supposed to mean?"

She snorted, "You know what I mean, Remus."

Remus frowned, "No I don't. And you better forget those great ideas of yours, too."

"Oh yeah Remus, it's just my crazy ideas, it isn't the truth at all. I must be out of my mind." she said harshly. "You might not be fucking now, but in a month, you'll be all over his feet because that's what these kinds of people do to you."

"What kind of people?" he asked standing, face crumpled.

"Sirius' kind of people." she answered, which didn't help Remus' confusion at all.

Tonks' eyes are shining. Maybe because of tears, maybe it was just his imagination but when she spoke, her voice was stinging. "Just don't get your heart broken, okay? I can't deal with two babies at the same time."

"He won't break my heart." he said confidently.

Tonks smirked at him, like he was a fool to say that. "He will. He will break your heart in million pieces, he will devastate you, he will destroy you. But you know what, you'll still want to be with him. But you won't be enough for him one day. And that day, you'll understand what I mean. You won't understand what is happening when he is breaking you, when he's making you addicted to himself. You'll notice it when it all ends and when you have already lost all of your chances. So Remus, if you ever counted me as a smart person, hear my words. Don't fuck him. It will start like that, with the blink of your eye, you'll be screaming his name in your head. Just spare yourself from drama."

Remus stared at her intently, "Why are you even saying these? Why are you taking like he is gay?"

Tonks' mouth fell to his chest. Her eyes are surprised, but mostly amused. "You really don't know?"

Remus sighed loudly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She threw her hand up in the air. "I'm done with this. Ask him."

"Whatever." he said walking away fast, not wanting to get his mind fucked anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

**Author's Note:** Hard part starts from here. After this chapter there is a thing I'm going to change, hopefully it won't take long.

About 6 pm Remus entered his apartment, taking his shoes off just after he got in. He sighed, walking to the kitchen to grab something to eat. He stared at the fridge for a while after deciding on eating the Chinese food he ordered two days ago. He didn't bother to warm it and he finished it with couple of bites.

He went out of the kitchen, taking his shirt and pants off. He heard the thud of his phone as he threw his pants on the floor but he just didn't give two craps about it. He spotted a chocolate bar while he was walking to his room lazily. He sighed again, feeling too tired to bother himself to take a few more steps to grab it, so he ignored the chocolate.

He took the bigger luggage out of the closet and started to fill it with his clothes, only leaving couple of them, just the ones he would use later. When he was done with the clothes, he went to the other room to grab his books, movies and play station games. He wondered if he should bring PS3 to Sirius' house, as he didn't own one.

He walked to the hall to pick his pants from the floor and found his phone in a second. He texted Sirius about it and got a reply in literally thirty seconds.

_"Why are you even asking?"_ it said. Remus smiled, trying to zip the luggage up. He dragged the luggage to the hall and this time he didn't ignore the chocolate and walked over to the sofa. He grabbed it excitedly, only to find out that it had already been eaten. He cursed heatedly and threw the package on the floor, grumbling.

His mood was still down, tripping over the luggage just added to it. "Fuck!" he screamed, kicking it hard and a second later, he was on the floor, holding his foot to ease the pain.

After he calmed down, he laid down on the floor and reminded himself to be reasonable. He stood up again, grabbed his car's and house's keys to carry it to the car, so it wouldn't occupy a place.

Hours passed quickly and when Remus checked the time, it was 10 pm, and he was exhausted from everything. So he ate a bag of chips while watching TV, brushed his teeth and then slept like a baby until his alarm woke him up rudely in the morning.

"Sirius!" Remus called, waving his hand. Sirius stopped and waited patiently Remus to catch up with him. he was out of breath as he literally sprinted all the way to Sirius and Sirius chuckled because Remus was pressing his hand down to his chest was a sight to see.

"Good thing you're tall." he breathed out.

Sirius put his hand to Remus' back to show that it was okay that they were waiting him to get himself together. He tried not to think much about the muscles underneath his hand and also tried not to grope him. "Is that so?"

"I needed to talk to you, and how would it be possible if I didn't see you in all these people?" he said, much more clearly.

"We have the same class, dude." Sirius reminded.

"Yes, but this is urgent. I didn't see you in previous classes."

Sirius scratched the back of his head absentmindedly. "Yeah, I couldn't make it."

"Why?" he asked, and wanted to smack himself across the face right away.

"I overslept." he explained as he covered his mouth with the back of his hand, yawning.

"Couldn't get much sleep, I reckon." he urged him to say more.

Sirius smirked mischievously, "True."

Remus rolled his eyes disturbed, "Congrats!" he said sarcastically, wishing some bird to shit on Sirius' head.

Sirius cooed, patting Remus' head sympathetically, or he tried to make it look like that. "Just because you are stuck with your hand these days, doesn't mean we are too." he teased.

He ignored his comment, he still wasn't pleased. "Who was it?" he said, frown still apparent on his face.

"Someone I met last night. I don't even have their number, probably won't see them ever again." he shrugged.

Remus noticed how Sirius wasn't stating a gender, and Tonks' words echoed in his mind. He wasn't going to ask him here, he would tell him when he is ready. Right?

"I hope you don't catch HIV." he tried to act casual.

Sirius smirked again, "Don't worry, I'm always careful."

"Great." Remus grumbled, luckily Sirius didn't hear it.

Halfway through the class, Sirius poked Isco with his elbow. "You were going to say something?"

"What?" Remus said eyes blurry with sleep.

"Before you got jealous that I'm having sex you…" he started but Remus cut off.

"I wasn't jealous. God, you are so arrogant." he grizzled but his voice was playful. "I want to drop a luggage to your house if that's okay with you too."

"Sure." Sirius replied. "Well actually, I'm having lunch with my family. But I'm going to stop by the house for just five minutes. So I can't look after you when you're dealing with unpacking."

"I don't need you to look after me." Remus sighed. How someone looking so good turn out to be this annoying?

Sirius smirked again, and all of a sudden, Remus realised, he used to be the teasing one not too long ago, now the tables were turned and he wasn't sure if he was really annoyed with it.

Remus was singing loudly off the key, and Sirius was laughing at his friend while they tried to carry all three bags at a time and they called the elevator, also having a quick fight to get in first.

"You didn't bring too many stuff." Sirius commented.

"Yeah, I don't know. I have few things left but they'll fit in my backpack I guess."

It ringed when they reached Sirius' floor. They dragged the bags and Sirius was trying to open the door with one hand as he was pulling one of the bags up.

Remus sighed relieved as the door opened and they managed to get them all in. He followed Sirius to his new room. He left the room after he put it on floor, telling Remus, "I'm going to take a quick shower. Do you want to come with me too?"

Remus hesitated, wanting to meet Remus family but also not wanting to make it awkward. "I don't know. Won't they be uncomfortable?"

"I don't know if my mom is coming. Me and her are not on good terms but others are fine." he said shrugging and leaving immediately, not waiting for a reply.

"Okay then." Remus mumbled to himself, checking his appearance in mirror and desperately trying to fix his hair.

Sirius really got out of the shower in five minutes and caught him struggling with his hair. He laughed in a low voice, "You look good. And you don't need to worry, they don't have high standards of my friends' appearances."

"Are you calling me ugly?" Remus asked fake shocked.

Sirius laughed again, a lot quieter this time. "I wouldn't dare."

They were laughing when they stepped in the restaurant. Sirius' parents and sister watched them without any knowledge of this guy because Sirius hadn't told them that he'd take a friend with him. Though they doubted this boy is just a friend.

Sirius smirked at her sister, winking and nodded curtly at his parents, while the boy with him smiled politely and exchanged greetings, getting uncomfortable under his mother's piercing gaze.

"This is Remus I told you about earlier, mother." he explained with a formal voice and his mother made an understanding sound, still not showing any kind of feelings. Remus eyed the woman discreetly, wondering why she was acting so cold towards her own son.

Sirius' mother, Walburga, cleared her throat. "So Remus, I heard you were moving in with my son."

Remus tried not to snort or raise his eyebrows at the woman. He saw Sirius grinning that he wasn't the one to be questioned. "Yes, that's right." he confirmed.

She continued. "I'm really glad that Sirius finally found a friend to stay with him. His night life was starting to get out of control. He always said that being alone made him go out. A friend who would stop him embarrassing us would be amazing." she said, eyes burning into Sirius' forehead. Sirius was finally looking angry and he interjected. "I think we could all agree that I don't have to answer your question about my life or what do I do with my money."

Walburga tilted her chin, a scornful smile on her thin lips. "It doesn't surprise me to hear speak like this, Sirius. Suits you well enough."

"Let's not blame it all on me, Mother. I think you wouldn't want to argue in front of other people."

Marta laughed uncomfortably, clearly she was the one to smooth things between mother and son. "Let's not scare Remus with our daily arguments." she said jokingly.

Their father laughed forcefully not offering his opinions. He was looking down, not turning his eyes away from the menu even for a second.

"Remus, tell us about yourself." Walburga asked him, with that cold, knowing smile Sirius wore when he talked to someone he wants to strangle.

Remus laughed awkwardly at first but then started to introduce himself to get his shit together because he was acting like a troublemaker teen talking to his headmaster. "Well, I came to London for university and I had always lived in Liverpool before I came here." he said, hoping that they wouldn't ask anything further than that.

But of course they did. "Do you have siblings?" Marta asked while pouring down the red wine to her glass, much to her mother's despise.

"Yeah, I have a younger brother."

Marta made a gagging sound. "We are miserable of the same thing. I feel you." she said shaking her head sympathetically.

"Please shut up." Sirius grumbled. "You're embarrassing yourself."

"But guess who is engaged and who is not?" she suddenly changed the topic, wiggling her hand in front of Sirius' face and Sirius let a high pitched scream.

"You're fucking with me right?" he cried out, eyes wide open with joy.

"Not at all." she grinned and with that, they were up and hugging the shit out of each other. Sirius put his hands on his sister's shoulders and drew back a little to look at her face. "Does that mean he has to put up with your annoying ass until he dies?"

Remus rolled his eyes at his friend, because he always needed to ruin the moment. Marta smacked him across the cheek softly, "Shut up, fool. Go find yourself…" she started to speak but then Sirius had his hand on her mouth, shutting her up. "Don't finish that sentence." he threatened, and Marta's eyes were open with shock but she didn't seem angry, while Walburga looked alert and his father continued ignoring them.

"Sorry." she mumbled and Remus was dying to know what she was about to say but the waiter came to take their orders at that moment so it was forgotten soon.

The three of them talked as they waited for their food to arrive and Remus couldn't help but find himself getting a little relieved that this wasn't his family. He could totally understand why Sirius dragged him with him. They obviously cared a lot about strangers' thoughts that they had to leave Sirius alone, just reprimanding him when he cursed excessively.

He refused the second glass of wine because he had to be at work at 3 pm. Marta shook her head like she was amazed. "He is too smart for you Sirius."

"And your fiancée is too good looking for you but am I saying anything about it, huh?" he countered back.

"So you're comparing my fiancée and Remus, is there something I need to know Sirius?" she asked with her mouth open like she was shocked. His parents glared at her, his mom's face becoming redder with passing seconds.

Sirius groaned and hid his face in his face. "Shup up Marta, please shut the fuck up."

Then he straightened up quickly and checked his watch. "Oh my god, it's 2.30. I can't believe we are making Remus late for work." he literally screamed and stood up, pulling Remus up with him.

Marta was giggling at her brother and their parents just watched them indifferently like it they were trying too hard not to show that they were relieved they were leaving. They stood up to say goodbye to Remus and his father gives him a quick, manly handshake, still not looking at his face while his mother kissed him on both cheeks before smiling at him fake and Remus did everything to tilt his lips upwards. At least with Marta, it wasn't awkward and she just pulled out her fist for Remus to bump it with his own and Remus laughed at that but he did as he was expected anyways.

"Watch out for my brother's ass, okay?" she smirked and Remus heard Sirius gasp. He was pulling him to go out immediately but Remus freed his arm from his grip.

"I'll do." he assured Marta, grinning.

Marta looked like she was about to suffocate and she coughed a little. She took a deep breath before she spoke again. "Just don't get too distracted."

Remus looked at her blankly but Sirius was so freaked out, face pale with horror. He groaned miserably and took Remus' hand in his. He hissed quietly to his sister, "I'll murder you in your sleep bitch."

He led him to Remus' car without looking back and when Remus turned to them to wink at Marta, she saw his mother was gone and his father was drinking the rest of his wine in one gulp.

They were silent for a while. "Your sister is lovely." Remus said genuinely.

Sirus remained silent for a minute and Remus wondered if he even heard him. But then he spoke up, "She is." His voice was soft, and somehow proud.

Remus added, "Too many gay jokes though." and Sirius banged his head to the window, mumbling meaninglessly.


End file.
